I will post this to the blog asap, but I’ve made it to San Diego and am awaiting departure. (and I just remembered free Internet in SAN, so I will post when complete if I have time).
Dear President Obama: Thank you for enhanced security screening. I just got through a rather fun experience putting my one backpack through the line. What used to be a relatively normal process for doing this type of thing (like putting your stuff in a bin, and taking out your laptop, and your small quart bag of liquids) has now become a “maybe I should take off my earrings, and maybe my watch, and maybe my belt, and maybe…” I even had this nice little old lady cut ahead of me for a minute just to get a grey bin to put her things in, because she was afraid they were going to run out of them for everyone. We really really REALLY need to streamline all of this. Please.
Anyway, I put my bag up and it goes in, I come out the other side and I’m asked for a visual check. Sure, why not? I’m in no hurry. She proceeds to undo my entire backpack, piece by piece.
“Do you have any syringes I should know about?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Where are you going today?”
“Doha, Qatar for a study trip."
“Really, is that by Mexico?”
“No, ma’am, it’s by Dubai.”
“Ah.”
She gets to my book on Qatar and decides to flip completely through it. How interesting! Thank you, kind lady, for inspecting my book. I promise it is not flammable unless you light it. Then, she proceeds to dump the entire rest of my bag out on the table. That’s right, everything. “We just need to rescreen this, is that ok?” (Like I’m going to tell her, no, it’s not ok, don’t rescreen my things since you’ve dumped them out all over everywhere.) So she goes back, runs it all through again, and then asks me if I need a place to put it all back together again. (laugh) Hello…you just emptied my bag! Of course I do!
Ah, the start of my day. Can’t wait for the smoothies on my British Airways 777 in Dallas. Maybe I’ll have a coke, too.
Update: my BA flight might be a tad bit delayed due to snow in London. Snow!
Dear President Obama: Thank you for enhanced security screening. I just got through a rather fun experience putting my one backpack through the line. What used to be a relatively normal process for doing this type of thing (like putting your stuff in a bin, and taking out your laptop, and your small quart bag of liquids) has now become a “maybe I should take off my earrings, and maybe my watch, and maybe my belt, and maybe…” I even had this nice little old lady cut ahead of me for a minute just to get a grey bin to put her things in, because she was afraid they were going to run out of them for everyone. We really really REALLY need to streamline all of this. Please.
Anyway, I put my bag up and it goes in, I come out the other side and I’m asked for a visual check. Sure, why not? I’m in no hurry. She proceeds to undo my entire backpack, piece by piece.
“Do you have any syringes I should know about?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Where are you going today?”
“Doha, Qatar for a study trip."
“Really, is that by Mexico?”
“No, ma’am, it’s by Dubai.”
“Ah.”
She gets to my book on Qatar and decides to flip completely through it. How interesting! Thank you, kind lady, for inspecting my book. I promise it is not flammable unless you light it. Then, she proceeds to dump the entire rest of my bag out on the table. That’s right, everything. “We just need to rescreen this, is that ok?” (Like I’m going to tell her, no, it’s not ok, don’t rescreen my things since you’ve dumped them out all over everywhere.) So she goes back, runs it all through again, and then asks me if I need a place to put it all back together again. (laugh) Hello…you just emptied my bag! Of course I do!
Ah, the start of my day. Can’t wait for the smoothies on my British Airways 777 in Dallas. Maybe I’ll have a coke, too.
Update: my BA flight might be a tad bit delayed due to snow in London. Snow!
“Where are you going today?”
ReplyDelete“Doha, Qatar for a study trip."
“Really, is that by Mexico?”
“No, ma’am, it’s by Dubai.”
“Ah.”
You're lucky she doesn't know where Dubai is either or she woulda branded you some Arab terrorist.
I wish someone would start "Macho Airlines -- The Airline for People With Some Balls". The entire attracting factor would be you could just skip the stupid, useless security lines and take your chances on the infinitesimal odds of terrorism. As long as the cockpit doors are reinforced there's no risk of anything 9/11 like.